the hayat project- ebook

So, the book is finally here! And it is for free. You can download it here as well from this blog by clicking the image below. Do let us know how you feel about it.

Over a 100 poems, prose, and photographs. More than 30 writers and photographers. This book contains various emotions expressed in words and photos.

The Hayat Project began as a project providing people with a platform for free flow of thoughts and ideas. They believe in becoming a medium for the voice of people belonging to different backgrounds and wanting to express themselves.

the hayat project

Amazon:

 

Universal link for other channels:

https://www.books2read.com/u/bMrERa

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What we search for lies within us

A page from my life about my situation last year. Written in the second half of 2016, this was about most difficult times I endured then. A lot has changed since. My attitude towards life and everything has changed. Here’s a look at what I’d felt before I realised few things and learned few life lessons. 

In the most difficult of times, we lose ourselves only to find the real one was hiding inside us all along. 

The reality is I lost my confidence, was completely clueless, my mind gave in to those terrible feelings of emptiness, of hopelessness. I detest those feelings. I was waiting for that ‘someday’ when everything would be ‘fine’. I was living in the illusion that everything has an end, a full stop to it. I didn’t feel like eating. I started feeling strange in the stomach. At one point, I just couldn’t feel happy even if I wanted to. I lost interest in any activity, including writing. Let’s just say my pen couldn’t bleed words no matter how much I tried. And so, I gave up writing. But this sounds unbelievable, right? I know why. Because somehow, smile can lie, but eyes cannot.

I always believed in this: what we search for, lies within us. 

I didn’t lose one thing while everything else was slipping from my hand. I held onto it. That was this little hope within hopelessness, faith that it’ll change, that I want to change. And I took control of my mind. I tried not surrendering to it. I tried to muster up all courage that I had to try and try to change this reality. Believe me, it works. It works wonder. Yes, it takes time. Loads of time. To surrender to time is better than to give in to mind. And I did that.

And now, I’m getting my confidence back. I’m becoming the transformed version of myself. In the past few days, life has turned around for me. No, it’s not a happy ending. But I’m happy. I’ve never been this happy in the 20 years of my life. No, life’s not perfect. It’s not all fine. I still have to fight. So, what’s making me feel so happy?

All of a sudden, I’ve gained such realisations. I’ve learned far more in the past couple of months than I ever have. Yes, adversities can be beautiful. Every second of pain, of fighting, of losing hope and still standing in the battlefield, of trying to handle both emotions and physical pain, of living this reality, of trying to find flame bright enough to light up my hopes, of trying to feel like myself, is a moment I’d cherish forever. Yes, I’m blessed not only because I’m alive, but because I’ve finally found who I am. While my heart was never satisfied with the answer to this question earlier, it now feels it’s found the right answer.

I haven’t lost anything. And I’d say this a million times that I’m happy to have gone through all this. I’m going to fight this all the way till the end. Instead of waiting for that ‘someday’, I’m living it everyday. Instead of trying to find a full stop, I’ve accepted that there can be commas and semicolons and that they’re beautiful. Instead of desiring a ‘normal’ and ‘perfect’ life, I’d like to live the new one. Instead of all ‘sugar, spice and everything nice’, I’d like to live this life of surprises. I don’t want to go back to the old life because what I’ve gained cannot be traded for all the perfection that was my life. To have met all the people along this way who made me feel so motivated has been such a blessing. To believe in myself, to become my own light is beautiful. And amongst so many lessons that I’ve learned and am going to, I can confidently say that I love this uniqueness of having to fight this battle alone.

Those scars that I have will always echo stories. And most importantly, my faith has only increased and taught what it means to be fearless, to live in the now, to be happy, to be a fighter.

Gravitating towards love 

​People gravitate towards love. As I write this one line, I reflect upon my own reality. Flashback hits me and I think of all the times I thought I was loved and my intuition warned me about the contrary. Why didn’t I Iisten to it then? I should have. But people want to be loved. It’s the universal truth. I think people always find their way to those who love them endlessly, eventually. Maybe it is necessary to meet people who pretend to love you until you find out the truth and gain some wisdom. And maybe, just maybe, you let go of them somehow at some point and meet those who really make you feel loved genuinely. Maybe going through a rough road is actually the path to reaching where you should, where you belong. As I look outside the window, people pass by, busy in their lives, I realise this journey would also result in learning to love myself in places that was missing my love; filling hate with love, insecurities with confidence. 

Yes, people gravitate towards love. 

– Bezubaan (Coming soon)


Moving

​The last leaf fell and I’m still here. Here, because I chose to grow again, rise again, live again. Why choose to survive when you can live? My glass has become foggy and I’m trying to write my own name. It won’t stay here forever. Just like you. My coffee is still warm and it’s making me smile, reminding me of days when I’d devote my love and time to it while also carving few words in my diary. Strong and wonderful, that’s how I’d describe it. You were the last leaf, fallen and gone. I could have painted you and you would have stayed. I did. I painted you in my words. But time has it’s own game to play and you had to leave. You left not knowing what I wrote in those pages of my diary, what I kept within myself, what I felt about you. You were my autumn, beautiful even when you were broken and I haven’t yet let you go. You’re still my autumn, a peaceful beauty. 

Bezubaan (Coming soon)